Michael D. Davis.

Halloween is no longer my favorite holiday because I am Halloween. Let me explain.

There are three main pillars that Halloween is known for. 1. Costumes. 2. Candy. 3. Horror. Now, let’s take this bit by bit, number one. I have the same circumference of a Buick Skylark, so going to the store and picking up a costume is out. The thing is though, the items that are often worn for costume purposes, I wear on the regular. Top hats, oversized bow ties, and even the occasional clown shoe are all items that I wear when I feel like it. One of the questions that I get more than any other from strangers is, “What are you supposed to be?” It has also been worded as, “Are you a clown?” And just simply, “Getting ready for Halloween?” I get that all year round, all twelve months. So, if you think about it, I am always in costume.

Number two, the sweet tooths delight, candy. I am not a big fan. Yes, I get a craving every now and again for some chocolate, but on average, I keep my consumption to things fresh out of the oven. And no one gives out meatloaf on Halloween.

Number three is what allured me to the holiday. Horror. I am a big fan, from Boris Karloff to Tobe Hooper, from Alfred Hitchcock to Leigh Whannell; it all delights me. I have come to the decision that it is my love for horror that blinded me into making Halloween my favorite holiday. But just like with the costume issue, the date don’t matter. I’ve watched Nick Castle hunt down Jamie Lee in mid-December when everyone else was jingle bellin’.

The main plus side for me about the holiday is the fact that horror movies flood the ether, from cable to streaming services, there are splatter flicks galore. In the past week, I made up a list of movies to watch and me, and my Ma slowly marked them off. It all lead up to Tuesday night. No candy was given out at my house. No porch light was on at my house. And if you’re feeling bad for the little tykes, don’t; one year, we only got one kid; it’s Death Valley around our domicile. The week of horror movies ushered us to Halloween night, where me and my Ma sat in darkness and watched, for the first time, one of the weirdest, best, most off-the-wall movies imaginable. Eraserhead. David Lynch’s classic tale of a man and his baby. If ya all didn’t spend your Halloween like we did, hell, you missed out.

Maybe now you can see why I changed my mind about Halloween. I’m always “dressed up,” and I’m constantly entrenched in horror. Oct. 31 is for children and posers, living one day like I do 365. I’ll leave you with this, a quote from the character Suicide from the 80’s classic ‘The Return of the Living Dead’, “You think this is a costume? This is a way of life.”