Gollum skulking among the bushes. PHOTO BY MICHAEL D. DAVIS

I don’t know what you did last Saturday, but if you were on a quest, I can only assume you were at Windy Goat Acres. June 10 was the Hobbits and Elves Fantasy Retreat in Chelsea, so if you saw a talking tree over the weekend or a hairy footed halfling, now you know why.

The acreage is nestled in among Iowa’s patchwork landscape of fields and farms in rural Chelsea. After driving over Mount Doom sized hills, you are met with the beautiful Windy Goat Acres. Filled with yurts, cabins, horses, and (of course) goats, this place is the creation of artist Jessica Kettler and carpenter Jim Carney.

The fine slopes of the Iowa Alps that makeup Windy Goat Acres doubled for Middle Earth this weekend. Hobbits came from The Shire, Elves left Rivendell, and Dwarves came down from the Misty Mountains all to enjoy the day. Whether you just wanted to wander about or you had the courage of Bilbo Baggins, and took on the quest there was fun for everyone.

Trimble the Troubadour, who journeyed all the way from the realm of Kansas City, enchanted the creatures of Middle Earth with wondrous music at Bard’s Arbor. Throughout the afternoon, hobbits and elves alike rested during their quests and were entertained by Trimble’s magical melodies.

Questing brought groups past Uncle Stinky, a blacksmith who forged the weapons of the Middle Earth warriors. Shirtless with a leather top hat and apron, Uncle Stinky showed onlookers his craft and sold maple syrup.

Windy Goat Acres own Hobbit Hole. PHOTO BY MICHAEL D. DAVIS

Past Uncle Stinky was the Dwarven Mine. Always protected by fierce and rather tall dwarves, these Durin’s Folk stood guard wearing leather armor and carrying fire forged blades. Being a stop on the quest, one mischievous dwarf had his fun sending some astray for his own benefit. Mid-afternoon on this June day, the dwarf sent a couple of Elves to fetch him a glass of water using the excuse it’s for the quest. Upon returning with his water, the dwarf then sent the Elves on to their true next stop.

It was at the Dwarven Mine that this reporter first got a glimpse of the monster-like hobbit that terrorized the woods that day. Crouched but fast, Gollum made his way through the bushes and trees. A young elf was soon in pursuit.

Another stop on the quest was the Ent. A talking tree that, at times, seemed to seamlessly blend into the woods around her. She stood tall and gave out Peacock feathers to those on their journey.

Axe throwing and Legolas-like archery were activities available to those who were mid-quest. This reporter attempted the ax throw and enjoyed himself immensely. That being said, if it was real Middle Earth conditions, this reporter would have died by an Orc’s blade for sure.

Vendors were peppered throughout the lands of Middle Earth. A leather crafter sold sword sheaths, while a wood carver had everything from shields to spoons. A wide range of items were available throughout the land. This reporter even purchased a dragon egg from one merchant.

Gandalf the Grey. PHOTO BY MICHAEL D. DAVIS

The newest addition to Windy Goat Acres is the Hobbit Hole. A cabin-like replica house that looks like it should be on a hill in the shire. The hobbit hole should only be described in the words of J.R.R. Tolkien himself, “(It’s) not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”

There seemed to be no appearance by Saruman the White on Saturday, but Gandalf the Grey had more than one incarnation walking about. So, if you, like Saruman, missed this year’s Hobbits and Elves fantasy retreat, fear not, as next year, the retreat will be back out in Chelsea. However, if you simply can not wait that long to have your fantasy itch tickled, then come on out on Aug. 26 for the Fairy retreat. Check out Windy Goat Acres on Facebook to keep informed on all events and happenings, including the upcoming Barnyard Yoga.

One of the dwarves guarding the mine and his weaponry. PHOTO BY MICHAEL D. DAVIS

The fantasy retreat was for elves of all ages. PHOTO BY MICHAEL D. DAVIS