John Sheda.

There are universal questions we all have. Is there a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? In golf, what is an albatross? Is it possible to NOT encounter a detour in Iowa during the summer? What exactly is the difference between jelly and jam? And who actually decided to be the first person to break open an egg and fry the contents of that egg? But the real big question is this:

Does the husband buy his wife a gift on Mother’s Day? So guys, do you? Or do you cop out by saying, “Hey, you’re not my mother?”

So anyway, this Mother’s Day article is out plenty early so you guys, (sons, daughters or dads), don’t have to wait until the last moment to get something. Get on Amazon NOW and order something. There’s still time. Here are some thoughts about Mom!

-What part of NO don’t you understand?

-I don’t care who started it but I’m certainly going to finish it.

-If you keep doing that, your face is going to freeze that way.

-Hey, no one ever said life is fair.

-EAT YOUR VEGETABLES.

-Because I said so, that’s why.

-You just wait till your Father gets home.

-If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t you come running to me!!

-Listen, I can do anything. I’m your Mother. Just try me.

-Assuming I am just an average mother was your first mistake.

-I just child proofed my entire house but they still get in.

-If everyone would jump off a cliff, I suppose you would too.

And here are a few final thoughts:

-Hey Mom, I can’t imagine how proud you must be of me for remembering to send you this Mother’s Day Card.

-Thanks Mom for not feeding me to sharks or sending me to the circus. I know it was a possibility.

-Moms — They’re just like Dads, only much smarter.

-Great job raising me Mom. I turned out awesome.

Finally, TO THE WORLD YOU’RE A MOTHER, BUT TO YOUR FAMILY, YOU ARE THE WORLD. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS OF THE WORLD. Heck, if it wasn’t for our Moms, we’d probably never figure it out, but we all did.

Let me know some other things your Mom used to say at jsheda@indytel.com or call me at 319.327.4640. Oh, by the way, “Of course you buy your wife a gift on Mother’s Day because Father’s Day is just a month away.”