Michael D. Davis.

I am here to dispel rumors this week. Members of my family and I have received a few questions over the last few months that I’d like to clear up here.

Ya see, when I was but a young pup, and my sister was a teenager, she spoke of moving to New York. Once she turned eighteen, she was gonna hit the road, go to the big city, and never look back. One of those dreams you see in the movies: from cornfields to skyscrapers. Well, eighteen came and went, and New York still stood a thousand miles to the right.

I was so convinced of this dream that when my sister graduated from High School, I ended up crying in a utility closet because I thought I’d never see her again. There is nothing more pitiful and surreal than weeping in front of a cartoon Jesus in a dark closet. (Her graduation party was at a church.) But that was all for naught, as my sister did not leave, although she did go to college.

Not being the Rockefellers, my sister stayed home to save money while attending college, where room, board, and annoyance came free. I don’t know how many years my sister went to college, or how many degrees she obtained (I think three, maybe?), but she did it from her bedroom. Ideas for other living situations were thrown out now and again, but were always discarded. Money being the main factor in the decision making process. It just never made good sense to rent an apartment across town when it was cheaper to stay home.

After College, things shifted, and in the last several years my sister had the thought of buying a house. Houses came on the market and popped up here and there around town, and the possibility would be discussed. I think she had an alert on her phone that went off every time a house in the area got listed online; either that or the local realtors put up a bat signal for her.

My sister looked at houses online, toured houses, met with people, and even made an offer a few times. Usually, though, it wouldn’t get too far, as my sister has a Goldilocks predilection to reality. This one is too big, this one is too small, this one has knob-and-tube electrical, this one has a garage, but it’s not attached to the house.

In the last few years, the lots next to us were acquired by the family. The thought of her building a house there has been mulled over. From pre-ordered tiny houses that come in a box like Lincoln Logs for you to put together to the good old-fashioned type of house, things have been mentioned, but not acted upon.

The fact that my sister, through the years, never found or built her perfect house did not hinder her when it came to furnishings. About five years ago, while at a garage sale, I saw a table I thought my sister would like. She said that would be great for when she got a house. It has sat in the storage unit ever since. My sister bought a 50 inch tv from a friend, which has remained in the box on the floor in her bedroom since the day she brought it home a couple of years back, but one day, it will look great in her house, apparently.

My sister’s bedroom door is an old plastic accordion door that has been partially ripped away from the door frame and broken. A year or two ago, I bought my sister a new door. She never installed this new door, as she will install it in her new home one day instead.

As my sister mainly lives on the north end of the house, and I on the south, we’ve had times when we’ve gone nearly a month without speaking to each other or seeing each other. I saw her once in the last 24 hours, and that was because I went specifically to speak to her. My sister comes and goes as she pleases. I don’t know if she is here or gone, when she will be back, or where she went. In this regard, if my sister is to move out, then little will change.

This all came up because my sister has apparently stated publicly that she is moving out within the next six months, and I’ve received questions about it. I don’t know if she is or not. I don’t know where she would be moving to. You can take it as a rule that I know very little. I only know that my sister has been in the process of moving out since she was 16 years old, and whatever house or apartment she moves to, she already has it half furnished.