Pastor Mike Nodland of the Christian Fellowship Church in Vining, IA.

Last year, Americans spent $23.9 billion on Valentine’s Day gifts! On what? My frugal mind goes to a card (probably homemade) and a marshmallow-filled chocolate heart. But some gift offerings blow my mind!

For about 200 bucks, you can buy a portable tabletop fireplace! I didn’t notice if a fire extinguisher comes with it. Or, for $13, you can have a personalized silver fortune cookie for your true love. But do they realize that silver compounds are toxic, may cause irreversible liver and kidney damage, or give you the “blues”?

Here’s a great gift: “Jerky of the Month Club!” For only about $100, you could get mouthwatering, artisan-styled jerkies and their newsletter, “I Dream of Jerky!” Or for around $65, you can send your lover Zip Lining!

But I’ve gotta see this: a personalized Love Letter Blanket for a little over 80 smackers with your own “private” love message (which everyone will see eventually)! And here’s one we’ll all like (except our doctors): Bacon of the Month for your sweetheart–for only $695!! I’m staying with my frugal choice!

Here’s a FREE gift: Eternal Life in Heaven, purchased by Jesus Christ with all His love! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Mike Nodland

Christian Fellowship Church, Vining, IA