John Sheda.

Well, I suppose it had to happen some day. I wasn’t looking for it but now it’s been thrust upon me and there’s not much I can do about it. It’s a heavy burden, I know, but I have broad shoulders, (plus about everything else being broad also), and it will be dealt with in a mature, sensible and appropriate fashion. So, what’s going on?

Advice! People have been sending letters, emails all asking my advice, (I know it sounds crazy) on situations and circumstances going on in their lives. Yep, forget Dear Abby and Ann Landers. So today, I’ll share with you just a few “Dear John” letters I’ve received lately. From the hundreds, perhaps thousands received, here is a short sampling.

Dear John,

When I go to a restaurant, just how much should I tip? I mean, some say 10%, others tell me it’s now at least 15%, while a few have even mentioned 20% or more of the total bill. Since you are a man of the world and possess such vast knowledge on a variety of subjects, I was wondering if you could shed some light here. What is a proper tip? Signed, Barney.

Barney, here’s the deal. Those waitresses are serving you, your family and maybe even a couple of others. They bring you water, keep it filled, take your orders, (and remember, everyone orders something different), and usually brings it all out at the same time, in a timely fashion. That is no easy task. Try it sometime! All the while, re-filling the glasses of water, cups of coffee, soft drinks and smiling while someone wants to change their order and another one is wondering if they can substitute the corn for some lima beans and so forth. And they do it with a smile! Are you getting the picture, Barney? For gosh sake, do a little “pay it forward” and be like Clint Eastwood and really “Make their day.” I guarantee you’ll feel better.

Dear John,

My husband and I are at our wit’s end with our children. Arguing over eating their vegetables, curfew time, cleaning their room, spending too much time on their computers and doing chores around the house. John, we need help and we need it NOW. Signed, Calgon, Take Me Away.

Calgon, I gotta tell you from experience, (having raised three wonderful daughters), the only thing I can say about this is that someday, my friend, they will one day grow up and be on their own. However remember, until then, they ARE your children and you can’t send them back, ok? But hear me on this because one day you will look back on these days, maybe with a tear or two and actually wish all were back home. Our daughters are now in their 40’s I believe, so please, please enjoy them before they grow up on ya. They grow up too fast.

Dear John,

I’m just a simple man and I know you are a man of the world, but my dilemma is this? When I’m on a date, do I just automatically pick up the tab since I’m the guy, or do I ask her if she wants to split the bill? By the way, John, you are my hero. Sincerely, Jim in Colorado.

Ya know ,Jim in Colorado, this is a tough one, especially it’s a first date. The best way to handle this is to quickly ask her to marry you, (yes immediately), so then it makes no difference who pays the bill. Capeesh!

Just thought that it would be nice to share just a few of the thousands of questions that come my way. So if you have any questions, please talk to Abby or someone else and don’t call me at 319.327.4640. Don’t email me either at johndebsheda@gmail.com.