Pastor Mike Nodland of the Christian Fellowship Church in Vining, IA.

I cannot resist checking out the latest Christmas gift ideas for the totally clueless us! This year’s suggestions top them all! So, here we go!

There’s the “yodeling pickle,” the makeup and skin care Advent calendar (no kidding) competing with the whisky Advent Calendar! There’s the 16-piece glow in the dark lipstick set, a pen that has a can opener-screwdriver-flashlight-phone holder and oh yah, an actual pen. If you come up short with Christmas cards, you can also drop-ship edible Christmas cards in a pinch, although one wonders how many times your cookie card is handled and who handled it before it gets to your palate.

For the world class traveler, you can take a 2-day exploration of the Lompoul Desert atop a camel, enjoy a fireside feast at Uncle George’s restaurant nestled next to an active volcano, or board a Qatar Airways Holiday Jet and maybe celebrate Christmas in the “friendly” skies over Venezuela before being shot down.

For women, there’s the keychain equipped with a loud alarm with strobe lights in 5 colors for security protection or the Bob Ross Chia Pet (hair not included). For men, there’s the Smartphone-controlled paper airplane kit.

I prefer the bath towel warmer coupled with the heated eye massager. But amidst the hoopla, remember to celebrate the Lord’s birth!