Michael D. Davis.

Sometimes the fates align like an eclipse making a single perfect, beautiful, once in a lifetime moment. When these things happen you have to appreciate them for their rarity, and for the sheer mind-tickling wonder that it is. To cut to the chase, it is my birthday this Friday, and my sister inadvertently gave me the perfect present.

So, this was last Saturday. We’d been out to Windy Goat Acres enjoying and covering the Hobbits and Elves event. We were only there a couple of hours because it didn’t take long for us to be slick with hobbit sweat in the sultry horror of the heat. So, we grabbed up all of the little goodies that we had gotten throughout the day and started to head back west toward Tama-Toledo.

We were in the middle of some discussion of no real consequence, sailing down the highway, nearing town, when we spotted a Tama cop car sitting in the median. My sister swears and immediately slows up. I laugh and look back.

The cop sits there a beat, then he pulls out. We are going along, he is a ways back, and my sister still thinks she’s safe. It was about this time I pulled out my phone and said, “Oh, that’s the cop calling.” She responded by calling my bluff, and saying the cops don’t have my cell number. To this statement, I said, “Well, I know the Tama Police Chief has my number, and the Sheriff.”

She must have forgotten that I work for the paper or something. It was around this time flashing lights were seen in the rearview mirror.

We pull over on the highway, and the cop walks up on the passenger side of the car, right up to my window. Who was it, you ask? Which police officer? It was the officer who pulled me over back in April. I immediately got a big smile on my face, greeted him, shook his hand, and asked him how he was, and how his day was going. My sister was sitting behind the wheel the entire time, silent.

The officer asked my sister how fast she thought she was going. She didn’t respond. Still smiling, very much enjoying myself, looking back and forth between the two, I raised my hand and asked if I could guess. He said sure. My guess was 80. The officer shook his head, and I thought that was odd because I could swear she had been going 80. So, I said I gave up, how fast was she going, he said he clocked her at 86 MPH. A whopping 21 miles per hour over the speed limit. I laughed, said wow, then started to get the papers out of the glove box.

There was a moment of confusion while finding the insurance, which led the officer to ask me, isn’t that what I didn’t have last time? Because If I failed to mention it, we were driving the car I usually drive, so this is the second time this officer has pulled over this car. But we found it.

When the officer was back in his squad car running my sister’s name, to see if she had a history of speeding tickets or a warrant out for murder or anything, I was in the car taking a commemorative picture. I also thanked her for getting me this as a birthday present.

When the officer came back, he said she was getting a ticket, but since she didn’t have a history of speeding tickets he was giving her a slight break on it. When he said that, I put my hand up on the side of my mouth and fake whispered, “I wouldn’t give her a break.”

I think that gave him a smile, I can’t remember, but he responded by saying it’s normal, and that hopefully it brings her back down to earth.

So, my sister signs all the paperwork, and takes her ticket. My sister then tells the officer what I said about this being my birthday present. To which he responds that now she doesn’t have to get me anything else.

Frankly, in that moment, I was so happy about the whole situation, that I was ready to receive nothing else for my 29th birthday, I even offered to pay for the ticket at one point because I enjoyed myself so much.

When the officer was getting ready to depart, I asked again how fast she was going, and my sister asked what I was doing. And I said to the officer, “Well, I need to get the numbers right, because this obviously is going to be in a new Magic Mike.”

He said he expected that. I talked to him a minute more, shook his hand, and told him to have a good day. The smile I had never left my face.

Another thing I probably should have mentioned earlier in this story is that since we had been returning from the Hobbits and Elves event, I was wearing elf ears on my hat. That just adds a whole new layer to this story.

After everything was said and done, my sister said I didn’t need to be so happy and laughing throughout the whole process. She said I should have restrained myself. My response was that was me restrained.

My lord, unrestrained I don’t know, I probably would have asked to take a picture with the officer, then print that picture out and frame it.

To misquote the Grinch, sometimes a great present comes without tags. It comes without packages, boxes, or bags. It simply comes with flashing lights in the rearview mirror, as you know you’re not driving, and you know the officer pulling your sister over.