John Sheda

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

A while back, a friend, (I think he was anyway), sent me some answers to this eternal question from some very interesting people. I’m sure their quotations are not accurate but given their personal thoughts, personalities and ideas about life and such, they are quite interesting. At least I thought they were. Perhaps you will too.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Donald Trump: I’ve been told by many sources, good sources, very good sources that the chicken did indeed cross the road, regardless of what the Fake News may say about the chicken, the road or even where he may have crossed. And we also know that the chicken was going to vote for me.

Joe Biden: Come on man! Why would you ask me that? He crossed the road because, well, you see, he obviously thought that, ahhh, errrr, wanted to cross the, ahhh, you know, the street or something like that.

Gov. Andrew Cuomo: Who cares why he crossed the street. He must be wearing a mask! If not for himself, than to at least protect all the other chickens.

Hillary Clinton: What difference at this point does it make why or even when the chicken crossed the road?

Barack Obama: Let me be perfectly clear on this matter, if the chicken likes his eggs, he can keep his eggs. Period. It doesn’t matter where he crossed.

George W. Bush: We don’t really care why he crossed the road. We just need to know if he is on our side or their side. He is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground.

Dick Cheney: A chicken’s crossing the road! Where’s my gun?

Bill Clinton: I did not talk to that chicken, I don’t know that chicken and I certainly did not cross the road with that chicken.

Al Gore: I invented both the chicken and the road.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken did cross the road but why he crossed it, I have not been told.

Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Sarah Palin: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh darn it, he was a maverick and gol-dang it, just wanted to be different. Nothing wrong with that, is there?

AOC: Chickens must never be forced to cross the road or even lay eggs. It’s all about corporate greed. In fact, eggs should be able to lay themselves.

Nancy Grace: The chicken crossed the road for one reason and one reason only. He’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he struts. Guilty!

Dr. Phil: The problem we face is that this chicken must first realize why he wants to get to the other side. Is he avoiding his problems or afraid to deal with them on this side of the road?

Rev. Al Sharpton: Why are all the chickens white?

Colonel Sanders: You mean I missed one?

Grandpa: Listen son, in my day we never asked why he crossed the road. We were told that he did cross the road and that was good enough for us.

Hope you enjoyed these obvious hypothetical answers to the age old question about the chicken crossing the road. No harm intended. Just maybe a smile or two to your face. Do you have any others to share? Let me know at jsheda@indytel.com or call me at 319.327.4640. Have a great weekend!!

Well, here’s a few of my resolutions. Let me know one or two you have at jsheda@indytel.com or call me at 319.327.4640.