John Sheda

I’ve never been convicted of being the brightest light bulb in the Sheda family, but I think of myself as having a certain acumen when it comes to winter banality and jejune times. After all, the Super Bowl is over, the baseball season is a couple of months away, little chilly yet to get in nine holes of golf and besides all that, my feet take great umbrage being trapped inside shoes. They miss their “flip-flops.” So for the most part I simply try to be as perspicacious as I can be to give you the very best column I can.

And it ain’t easy. In fact, sometimes it gets me feeling quite capricious instead of my usual ebullient self. Now I’m not gasconading, but as Jack Webb used to say on the old Dragnet TV series, “Just the Facts, Maam, just the Facts.” I’m just stating facts so please don’t take umbrage towards me. To the best of my ability I really do try to excogitate everything I possibly can. What with the holidays, the snacks, treats, cookies and the long winter nights, my belt seems to be a tad tighter but in no way would it be fair to label me as corpulent. At least I hope not. In fact maybe another piece of pecan pie would taste good right now but probably would not be too sagacious on my part.

Not sure what’s going on around me lately. Maybe it’s the water or something else but the other day as I gawked in the mirror, thinking what a quixotic and uxorious guy I was for the most part, I did notice that I’m a little more pilgarlic than I was last fall. May have to get a new mirror. Wonder if that would even help but that’s probably just sciolism on my part for sure.

Well, not that I’m kvetching in any way, shape or manner but I’m not in much of a loquacious frame of mind this morning and I better stop before I really misqueme someone. I’m just senescence but there’s nothing that can be done about that. It is what it is, right? But to set the record straight, just because I wear flip flops most of the time in the spring, summer, fall and some of the winter and seldom wear socks, I AM NOT A TATTERDEMALION. I take great umbrage at even the thought that I am. Time to go.

Let me know how impressed you are with the fact that I consider myself a “sesquipedalian” now at jsheda@indytel.com or call me at 319.327.4640. I know they weren’t long but they were interesting, right????