Ours was a typical love story; boy and girl meet; fall in love, get engaged, have "tiny" lover's spat, kiss & make up, get married and live happily ever after. Right? Wrong! The love story of Deb and John took a nasty turn somewhere between "tiny" lover's spat and kiss & make up. A huge nasty turn. Now, here's the rest of the story.
Remember, we were standing & arguing outside her folk's farm home and it was about 2 am. She had just handed me back her engagement ring I had given her a couple of months earlier. It was clutched tightly in my hand. Now what happened next is beyond fiction. Remember, truth is much stranger than fiction. I was not at all prepared for Deb to return the ring and I was sure not going to be the first one to admit any wrongdoing at all, but my mind went absolutely blank...as usual!
I just had one of those "knee-jerk" reactions! Those kind that never work out too well. The kind you always regret doing later. Yeah, it was that kind for me too.
I took the ring and tossed it as far as I could. Deb was aghast! Yes, aghast! I FINALLY got the reaction I had wanted all night long. Except for one thing! One tiny little thing! I DID NOT THROW THE RING!! You see, we Shedas are not the brightest light bulbs in the package, nor do we often think about consequences, but, one thing is for sure......we are CHEAP! Who in their right mind would ever throw a thousand dollar ring into a farm lot? Not a Sheda, that's for sure. However, immediately after I "threw" the ring, Deb screamed. Tears flowed! Apologies thrown around all over the place. "It was a mistake," we both lamented. We hugged, we kissed and we actually made up. All was forgotten, all was forgiven.
Except for one small problem. As we were hugging and kissing each other, the ring clutched tightly in my right hand and Deb crying uncontrollably about the ring being gone forever, it suddenly occurred to me that I was in a "pickle." She thought I threw the ring away but it was neatly and safely held in the fist of my hand. Do you see the problem? Now, the best thing to do in a bad situation is to fess up immediately and let the chips fall where they may. However, as stated earlier, Shedas are not the brightest people in the world...at least not this Sheda.
Here's what we did next. With the ring neatly in my fist, Deb began a frantic search for the ring in the area of the farm I "threw" it. I stood by paralyzed watching her. She cried wildly at me to, ah, "help her" look for the ring. I know, I know, I should have admitted my error but instead, I ah, "helped her" look for the ring which was still safely tucked away in my fist. After about an hour, (yes, an hour) of looking for the ring, we decided that the ring was gone forever. Yepper, that ring that was still in my fist, actually burning a hole in my fist, was gone forever....at least according to Deb. Does anyone realize that it's a little after 3 am and Deb and I have been looking for a ring I supposedly tossed, but hadn't, for over an hour? Does anyone think that John is in a wee bit of trouble? Does anyone feel a little sorry for John? Not even a little bit?
Deb ran into my arms, apologized for the terrible evening and said "Oh, John, it's all my fault." And other words to that effect. Words that she really didn't need to say, seeing that as we hugged each other tightly at 3 a.m. at her parent's farm home....all was actually well, since the ring was still safely in my fist. She just didn't know that yet. It was at this precise moment that a brilliant idea suddenly came to me. At least I thought it brilliant. And it was gonna get me out of the entire mess. But alas, I have run out of space. Can you wait just seven more days to hear the ending of this story and my brilliant idea? It's a doozy!
So till next time, give me a ring at 319-334-4117 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'm sure Deb would appreciate some sympathy cards since the bottom line is.....we're still married!! Tune in next week for the conclusion of the story AND ALL ABSOLUTELY TRUE!! Promise.