Don't you just hate "IT" when that happens? I do, and IT happens way more than I usually care to admit.
IT's the pits which gets and gives me fits.
"IT," is my nemesis. "IT" is a wholesale waste of time. "IT" is a source of frustration in my life.
Don't you just hate IT when you're working outside on a project and decide you need something, but by the time you get back inside you've forgotten what you came in to get? I usually just get a cookie and go back outside. If IT was really important, I'll remember what I needed in short order.
Don't you just hate IT when you start laughing inappropriately and just can't stop?
Have you ever bought something, taken IT home, taken all the pieces and parts out of the box, and then decide IT won't work for your use? Why is IT then you can never put all the pieces back in the packaging the way they came out? Don't you just hate IT?
There are people who go to college just to learn how to make packaging. I think IT is job security for them to create these elaborate packaging schemes that nobody but them can figure out.
Don't you just hate IT when you diligently set your alarm clock for 7:00 but didn't notice IT was PM instead of AM?
Don't you just hate IT when you wake up on your side and your arm is asleep, and in your "just awake" stupor are convinced part of your body is paralyzed?
Don't you just hate IT when while placing something on the back of the toilet, spare roll, Kleenex, air freshener, and IT falls in instead of staying on the tank cover?
Don't you just hate IT when you're merrily talking along to someone on the cell phone, telling the tale of your great experience the night before, only to realize the connection has been lost?
You've carefully wrapped the burrito in a napkin to keep you hand from getting messy and are happily munching on the fare, only to realize you've taken a bite out of the napkin with the last bite of burrito? Don't you just hate IT when that happens?
Don't you just hate IT when you feel like you have to give a tip for sub-par service just so you won't look cheap, or have them spit in your food if you ever have the misfortune of eating there again?
Don't you just hate IT when you run the vacuum cleaner over that piece of string a hundred times and IT still won't pick IT up?
Don't you just hate IT when you drop something on the floor under the table, and you smack your head on the way back up? In mixed company, IT is hard to recover gracefully from this situation while you're rubbing your bump.
Don't you just hate IT when somebody forgets to take a tissue out of their pocket before they put their jeans in the wash, and IT gets all over the other clothes? You then hope the lint screen in the drier will remove all that clutter. Sometimes IT does. Sometimes IT doesn't.
Don't you just hate IT when you have something in your hand one minute and can't find IT the next? To top IT off you haven't even moved but still can't find IT.
Don't you just hate IT when you're just browsing and wasting some time in a department store and have to tell five different sales people you don't need any help?
Why is IT that whenever I am driving slowly looking for an address I always have an impatient driver right behind me? Don't you just hate IT?
Don't you just hate IT when you get the grocery cart with the wobbly noisy wheels, or the one that pulls to the right?
How about when you hear a song you really like on the radio and the announcer doesn't tell you the name of the artist, or the song. Yep, I hate IT.
Don't you just hate IT when you open a can of soup and the lid falls in?
Don't you just hate IT when you spend several minutes filling out some form online only to have your computer or Internet connection lock up right as you click the send button?
Don't you just hate IT when you pick out some clothes to wear to a dinner and two other people are wearing the exact same thing?
How many times have you been writing out a check and your blue pen runs out of ink, and the only other pen available contains black ink? Yep, I hate IT when that happens.
Don't you just hate IT when you answer your phone and the caller just starts rattling on and you have no idea who IT is?
Have you ever gone through the drive-up at a fast food restaurant, and gotten several miles down the road before you realize they forgot to include any eating utensils with your order? Don't tell me you don't hate IT.
Don't you just hate IT when you have half your peanut butter and jelly sandwich eaten before you see the bread has mold on IT?
Don't you just hate IT when you have most of your clothes off getting ready to take a shower and somebody comes to the door?
And then after telling the salesman you don't want any, you go back to your shower and because nobody is around you start singing at the top of your lungs. Don't you just hate IT when you get out of the shower, get dressed and figure out everybody else came back home while you were showering?
And don't you just hate IT when all they can do is giggle but don't say anything?
And that gentle reader is "IT."
Until next time-
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In to the Wind and this column are copyright 2005 - 2013 Mike Gilchrist. Readers, feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org via email, or write to me at P.O. Box 255, Toledo, IA 52342.