You all know the old adage, "truth is stranger than fiction," and this certainly is no exception. In recent weeks, the following stories have been in the media. Names have NOT been changed to protect anyone because I don't think any names are used. Five stories that will perhaps tickle your funny bone, have you scratching your head, being thankful that the story is not about you and just being at peace with yourself that you live right here in God's country. In no particular order of silliness here they are:
Did you see some guy in New York was sitting in his apartment with a friend and began wondering what it would feel like to get shot? Yes, shot....with a gun. So he asked his, errrr, friend, to help him out. What are friends for, right? The, ahhh, friend, loads the gun and shoots this guy in the leg. This is so crazy on so many levels, but friends are friends. At least he trusted his friend enough and his friend was a good enough friend to comply and only as a true friend could do....shoot him in the leg instead of the head, chest or back. Can you imagine the conversation these two "nutballs" had prior to all this?
Did you see in Idaho a guy was shopping in the home and garden section of Wal-Mart and was bitten by a rattlesnake? I guess it was in the outside section but it sure gives new meaning to "we will prosecute you to the highest level of the law for shoplifting." Heck, you don't even have to be shoplifting, just browsing. I wonder if the snake was the Wal-Mart greeter? This is serious though because the guy had permanent disfigurement to his arm. Plus he now owns that Wal-Mart store!!!!
If you could give your loved one something really unique for that special occasion, you need look no further. The vial that contained some of former President Ronald Reagan's blood from the assassination attempt on his life in 1981. Guys, what a gift for next Valentine's Day! "Honey, open your gift. It's my way of saying 'I love you." I wonder what my good friend, Emmett, would start the bidding at??
Did you see where there is a possibility the New York Yankees might be for sale? I'm interested and I know there are many, many Yankee fans out there, so help me out. Let's get together, pool our excess (??) resources together and see if we can get the "baseball" rolling. Have bake sales, garage sales, mow lawns and other extra ways to put together a down payment. "Dear Yankee Organization: Some friends and I have come up with $72 and 42 cents and are interested in buying the Yankees." The estimated starting price tag? How about 3 billion dollars!!
Well last weekend was the start of summer. And I had such big plans for the Sheda Clan! Something different. Something that would really bond us together. Something that would really express my undying love for Deb and all the Shedas. I thought to myself, "how about mountain climbing?" We've never done that before. And we might as well start of with Mt. Everest, the tallest mountain in the world, I think. Over 29,000 feet above sea level. And then I heard that it was too crowded. Did you see those long lines of mountain climbers? Lines of people already climbing the mountain. Heck, I looked at those lines and thought they were in Wal-Mart!!!
And this last "Did you see" topic is absolutely unbelievable. Did you see where this one guy, yes, one guy, fathered thirty children with eleven different women? And he went to court to ask for a vacation, reprieve or sabbatical from child support for a while? I think several of the children were receiving less than five bucks a month support. I know this is a family newspaper, but I know exactly what you're thinking and I agree. We could think of something else to do to this guy to prevent child #31!!!
And folks, THAT'S THE WAY I SEE IT. Let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me at 319-334-4117 and let me know how you see things.