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This is “it”

In to the Wind

January 17, 2012
By Mike Gilchrist , Toledo Chronicle, Tama News-Herald

Don't you just hate "it" when that happens? I do, and it happens way more than I usually care to admit.

"It," is my nemesis. "It" is a wholesale waste of time. "It" is a source of frustration in my life.

Don't you just hate it when you start laughing inappropriately and just can't stop?

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Don't you just hate it when you're working outside on a project and decide you need something, but by the time you get back inside you've forgotten what you came in to get? I usually just get a cookie and go back outside. If it was really important, I'll remember what I needed in short order.

Don't you just hate it when you diligently set your alarm clock for 7:00 but didn't notice it was PM instead of AM?

Don't you just hate it when while placing something on the back of the toilet, spare roll, Kleenex, air freshener, and it falls in instead of staying on the tank cover?

Don't you just hate it when you're merrily talking along to someone on the cell phone, telling the tale of your great experience the night before, only to realize the connection has been lost?

You've carefully wrapped the burrito in a napkin to keep you hand from getting messy and are happily munching on the fare, only to realize you've taken a bite out of the napkin with the last bite of burrito? Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Don't you just hate it when you feel like you have to give a tip for sub-par service just so you won't look cheap, or have them spit in your food if you ever have the misfortune of eating there again?

Don't you just hate it when you run the vacuum cleaner over that piece of string a hundred times and it still won't pick it up?

Don't you just hate it when you wake up on your side and your arm is asleep, and in your "just awake" stupor are convinced part of your body is paralyzed?

Don't you just hate it when you really weren't paying attention when the introductions were made, they joined you for lunch, and repeatedly address you by name but you don't have a clue what theirs is?

Don't you just hate that awkward moment when the family is all assembled for that portrait and the picture taker can't find the shutter release button, and you all have your faces frozen in a fake smile for what seems an eternity?

Don't you just hate it when you open a can of soup and the lid falls in?

Don't you just hate it when you have to say "No thanks, I'm just looking" to EVERY clerk in the store?

Don't you just hate it when you feel a sneeze coming and it just won't arrive?

Don't you just hate it when you feel a sneeze coming and you also have to pee?

Have you ever bought something, taken it home, taken all the pieces and parts out of the box, and then decide it won't work for your use? Why is it then you can never put all the pieces back in the packaging the way they came out?

Don't you just hate it when somebody forgets to take a tissue out of their pocket before they put their jeans in the wash, and it gets all over the other clothes? You then hope the lint screen in the drier will remove all that clutter. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't.

Don't you just hate it when you have something in your hand one minute and can't find it the next? To top it off you haven't even moved but still can't find it.

Don't you just hate it when you are driving slow looking for an address and you have an impatient driver right behind you?

Don't you just hate it when you get the grocery cart with the wobbly noisy wheels, or the one that pulls to the right?

Don't you just hate it when you hear a good song on the radio and the announcer doesn't tell you the name of the artist, or the song?

Don't you just hate it when you spend several minutes filling out some form online only to have your computer or Internet connection lock up right as you click the send button?

Don't you just hate it when you answer your phone and the caller just starts rattling on and you have no idea who it is?

Don't you just hate it when you wait an inordinate amount of time in the fast food drive-up and finally get your stuff, only to drive several miles down the road before you realize they forgot to include any eating utensils with your order?

Don't you just hate it when you have half your peanut butter and jelly sandwich eaten before you see the bread has mold on it?

Don't you just hate it when you have most of your clothes off getting ready to take a shower and somebody comes to the door?

And then after telling the salesman you don't want any, you go take your shower and because nobody is around you start singing at the top of your lungs. Don't you just hate it when you get out of the shower, get dressed and figure out everybody else came back home while you were showering?

And don't you just hate it when all they can do is giggle but don't say anything?

And that gentle reader is "it."

Until next time--

You can read past columns by visiting tamatoledonews.com and clicking on "view all" next to "Local Columns."

In to the Wind and this column are copyright 2012 Mike Gilchrist. Readers, feel free to contact me at mike@aweiowa.com via email, or write to me at P.O. Box 255, Toledo, IA 52342.

 
 

 

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