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My first cell phone and other stuff

July 10, 2011
By John Sheda
Ya, it finally had to happen. Big John has catapulted into the 21st century. Last week, I want to the Phone Store and bought my very first cell phone. Now, to be fair and ahh, unbalanced, Deb and I have “shared” one for a few years now. By “shared” I mean, she kept it all the time. Except when I headed out of town and remembered to take it....which wasn’t very often. But now, for the very first time......I have my very own cell phone with my very own number. Yeaaa.

 At least I thought “yeaaa” until I now realized the pressure that has besieged me. Yes, pressure! Now. also for the very first time, I am now “responsible” for this new cell phone. And to be honest.....responsibility isn’t one of my strong features. In fact, after 59 years on this planet, I’m desperately trying to find a strong point or two that I have.  If any of you know of one, please let me know. I will sleep much better knowing I might have a strong point or even two.

 But getting back to the pressure of owning a cell phone. Not only do I have the full responsibility of it, but I also have to keep it charged, (forgot that quickly), and pretty much with me at all times. The other night, I was relaxin’ in the recliner, when horror struck me........Where was my phone????  Dang, I was half asleep and now I couldn’t remember where my new cell phone was. Checked the bathroom, bedroom, living room, the van and the kitchen. No where to be found.....but then I realized that I had changed clothes earlier....and sure enough, there it the front pocket of my jeans. Yepper, the very last place I looked!! 

 And there’s more bad news............NO ONE IS CALLING ME YET!  Why? ‘Cuz hardly anyone knows my number....yet. And then I received a text from my daughter. Holy Moly........more pressure. How do I retrieve it? How do I answer it? I tell ya, life ain’t easy for a red-necked boy from Chelsea, Iowa. Heck, I’m still used to playing Solitaire with real cards......and now all of this technological stuff. Enough to blow one’s mind, especially one like mine.

 And now the knee. Surgery on June 1. Total knee replacement. Physical Terrorpy, oops, I mean Therapy, three times a week. First the walker, then the cane and now I’m free, I’m free, I’m free at last. Walking on my own for the past couple of weeks or so.  Slow but sure. Not that sure, but making progress. And finally after a few weeks of sponge baths and bathing, I finally was able to get into the shower. Oh boy, did that feel good. But to be honest, as happy as I was to get into the shower after a couple of weeks, I think my family and friends were much, much happier. They began once again to stay in the same room with me.

 I joke about Physical Therapy, but they all treated me great. Then pushed me, stretched me, made me do squats, bent my knee, and a lot of it hurt but I was told it was a “good hurt.” Hmmmm........good hurts!!! My surgeon said to “Embrace the Pain.” I would much rather embrace a cheeseburger or a large pizza, but embrace the pain I did.....sorta.

 But then just the other day, the unspeakable happened. My big toe, (on the same leg as the knee) became enflamed, swollen and excruciatingly painful. I forgot all about the knee. Total concentration now was on the toe. What in the world was it? Why did it hurt so much? I have no idea. Deb wanted me to go to the doctor but I resisted. My daughter took her phone out....I guess it’s a “smart phone” or something like that and looked it all up on line, from her phone. She thinks it is or was “Gout.” Gout? No way! I’m not rich enough to have gout. Well, anyway, the toe hurt for about two days and finally the pain subsided. Now it’s back to concentrating on the knee. I’m told it’s healing well and I’m doing fine, but I sure miss being on the golf course. Maybe next week, Tom!!!!!

 And that, my friends, is a day or two in my life. 

And I didn’t even have time to get into politics. My political mantra is.....Term Limits, Term Limits, Term Limits.....on EVERYBODY. And “that’s the way I see it.”  Let me know at how you see it.Can anyone explain gout to me????

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