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Says Republican Iowa House Bills 'No Value'

April 3, 2011
Toledo Chronicle, Tama News-Herald
Letter to the Editor:

If a session lasts more than four hours:

Another bill has come whiffling out of the Republican controlled Iowa House of Irrelevancy. True to form, this one has no more civic value than confetti unleashed into the air by happied-up revelers on New Year’s Eve. And it leaves pleased as Punch benefactors who would have the law placed on their side and make criminals of whistle-blowing employees that video and release incidents of animal cruelty in such places as puppy mills.

Republicans ought to get their House sessions on reality TV. Ok, the word “reality” is not a good descriptor for the spectacle of the wheels having totally come off the GOP bandwagon in the House. It now appears to be a loony bin sitting on the edge of a giant precipice, teetering back and forth, and with the Republican boys inside heartily singing in musical round, “Rock of Ages” and “Turn out the lights the party’s over.” This is reminiscent of what humorist Will Roger said about the Congress of his day: “Every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.”

Someone should be keeping a list all of the Republican measures that this session has adopted, withdrawn, trial ballooned and that will be clocked out. It is all entertaining enough to deserve something like an Academy Awards in which entries on the list could be voted on by Tea-Party members, the ballots tallied, and the results sealed and secured in envelopes until they were opened at an awards ceremony broadcast on a newly privatized Iowa Public Television.

Ignoring the tax-payer cost of the payoffs included in the actual list of proposals, the show would not have to cost the public one thing, and could be sponsored by the National Association of Refuse Collectors, Landfills Unlimited and one of those drug companies on TV that advertises that you are just a pill away from relief of any mental health or behavioral problem—-with a deal clinching advisory that if any “solution” lasts more than four hours the purchaser should seek medical attention.

Anyone that would like to work on this please let me know. We need to start having as much fun as these guys and express our glee or pity in more letters to the editor and on blogs. Meanwhile, would any member of the House consider sponsoring the awards idea for enactment into law?

Sam Osborne

West Branch


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