I am annoyed when I get that shopping cart with one bad wheel. It seems I always get the cart which goes thump, thump as I wheel down the aisle. Everyone has to stop and turn to see what that awful racket coming their way might be.
Exactly how does a shopping cart manage to get a flat wheel? I have this image of late night stock boys taking joy rides with the carts and playing dodge ‘em with the other stockers.
If I don’t get the one with the flat wheel, I get the one which pulls to the right and needs a front end alignment.
And while I’m on the topic of shopping, don’t you just hate it when stores crowd their nice wide isles with extra displays? There should be a law that all store isles should be wide enough to accommodate a cart going each way. Those store marketers should be required to shop on a peak day and time in their own store and have to push a cart in order to get their discount!
Do you want to know what annoys me even more? The woman with three kids who is pushing the Dumbo the elephant giant sized kid cart and decides to stop in the middle of one of those crowded isles while the kids get their choice of overly sweetened breakfast cereal. I find many things wrong about THAT encounter.
I am also annoyed by shoppers wielding carts who try to pass on the right, instead of staying to your left, and then look annoyed when you don’t move over to accommodate them! I usually mutter under my breath wondering if they are from England or something.
I am annoyed by television ads for drugs I’ve never heard of before, and where they tell you to ask your doctor if the medication is right for you. Heck if they don’t at least tell me for what malady the preparation is intended, how can I add that to the list of medical conditions for which I have to worry?
Actually, I believe I am getting beyond those worries; and gaining some more. The side effect of all these drugs is what has me worried now.
If you notice swelling of face, mouth, throat or a rash, you're supposed to stop taking it. You're not supposed to drive or operate machinery after you're taken it. A straight razor is dangerous equipment to me! Maybe I’d have an excuse to quit using a chainsaw if I took one of those medications.
I was watching one peculiar ad that at first convinced me I must have that malady. But then they warned me it could lower my ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis and infections that could spread through the entire body. Needless to say, I talked myself out of that one!
I’ve decided to mute the television when those commercials come on, stick to taking nothing stronger than aspirin, and continue letting other things annoy me, like …
Being expected to carry something for another person because they won’t carry a purse, or don’t have pockets in their pants/shorts. The most brazen request is uttered while extending a hanky, “Would you carry this for me? I might not have a problem initially, but the mind races to the eventuality it might then be used. Do I still have to stow it in MY pocket then, or can we just toss it aside?
Those people who install a new roll of toilet paper so it unwraps from the underside of the roll. We have an understanding at our house that the paper must unwrap from the top. Every once in a while the timber gremlins will turn it around the other way.
Having to look for the mate to a pair of shoes you want to wear. Why aren’t they together, and how do they get separated? Don’t even get me started about misfit socks again!
People who will wipe dirty or greasy hands on the dishtowel BEFORE they use soap and water annoy me.
Now that you DID get me started, how do seemingly inert items like hangers in a closet get tangled? You know what I mean; there is a row of empty hangers, you’re hanging up a shirt, and when you reach for one of the hangers you have to wrestle with several of them that have become entangled.
I think some half witted person attempted to solve that problem by making those really wide plastic hangers. They don’t tangle amongst themselves, but become the queen of tangles when rubbing elbows with lowly wire hangers. I’ve banned those plastic hangers with the clips in the middle from the laundry room. They create a colossal snarl!
How does the television remote always seem to get lost? So much for having one of those super duper “do all” remotes; where is it when you want it? Why can’t everybody just put it on the shelf next to the TV when they are done watching? And when you do find it, are the quarters you found next to it in the side of the couch a finders fee?
And on a more serious note; have you ever been in a hurry to get home because having to use the bathroom has become an emergency, and you have to sneeze or cough, knowing full well you had better not do either? Maintaining bodily control and vehicular control during those moments can be quite testing.
People who twiddle or mess with the phone cord while talking on it. Have you ever chased one of those backwards coils down the phone cord successfully? Once they are tangled or reverse coiled, I believe they are doomed.
Sink knobs which don’t turn on / off the water when turned the traditional way. Or, horror of horrors, a sink where a dyslexic plumber or do-it-yourselfer put the cold on the left and the hot on the right!
People who spit out their chewing gum on the ground. It is one of life’s great annoyances to feel that sickening squish under foot and realize your shoe is sticking to the pavement because you’ve just stepped in someone’s gum.
I am annoyed I only have a thousand words or so each week in this space when there are SO many things which annoy me!
Until next time--
In to the Wind and this column are copyright 2010 Mike Gilchrist. Readers, feel free to contact me at
firstname.lastname@example.org via email, or write to me at P.O. Box 255, Toledo, IA 52342